Dieting the American Way

Well, I finally figured out why Americans in average are more obese than Germans. And they are, as those figures make this very clear. More than 30 percent of the local population has to struggle with overweight. And it’s not because they used to eat unhealthy junk food all day long. Not at all. And if you start arguing that the flavored and sugary blends at Starbucks causing obesity I’m going to kill you right away. No, Americans can still afford it to beef up more than Europeans can. Because, as we know, the society here is more creative and that’s the reason why they handle this issue much better than other nationalities do. While the crowd in Europe is constantly thinking about new methods of dieting and is still going to create more efficient schedules for healthier diets Americans have already invented a simple solution for the entire problem. And the very good news is: It’s simple to use, it only costs a couple of bucks and it pays off immediately.

“Perfect Fit Button” is the magical name of the diet we are talking about. It is a segregated sort of spare button that can be used if you’ve eaten until your hips are going to explode your trousers waistband. While Europeans would at least think about a diet or just a new pair of pants, Americans are doing it their way: Buy a magic button, broaden your pants and get a double caramel flavored whipped cream on top of your next Starbucks health treatment. Are you gonna be kiddin’ me?

For those of you who need a how to video about the magic buttons – just click here.


5 Responses to Dieting the American Way

  1. This is cool stuff. Could you send me some, please?

  2. Adam Kornfield says:

    I’ve seen this commercial on TV so many times. Is it really true people buy this thing?

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Adam Kornfield, Thomas Escher. Thomas Escher said: Dieting the American Way […]

  4. newyankee says:

    @Ossi – I could certainly send you through some magic stuff but I’m not quite sure how to declare it – does we have some sort of magic-dieting tax in Germany 😉

    @Adam – It seems to me that there is quiet a market for this awkward buttons. Maybe most of the customers give it a try because 10 bucks are very inexpensive for a serious diet 😉

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